查看完整版本 : 婚姻成敗係咪取決於學歷,人工,職位,幾時結婚,生仔

MetroSYG 2013-11-10 18:40

[quote]原帖由 [i]brotherman[/i] 於 2013-11-10 04:01 PM 發表 [url=http://www.discuss.com.hk/redirect.php?goto=findpost&pid=375426480&ptid=22648905][img]http://www.discuss.com.hk/images/common/back.gif[/img][/url]


It is sad but true that many people even do not have the opportunity to make these choices



[img=100,23]http://i1.hk/d/images/r10/mobile.jpg[/img] [/quote]

True, the “love” market is so inefficient, we end up with mismatches all over the place.
Most folks' better halves are such because they showed up at the right place at the right time, but he/she isn't necessarily the right person…



[url=http://m.discuss.com.hk][img=100,23]http://i1.hk/d/images/r10/mobile.jpg[/img][/url]

brotherman 2013-11-10 19:55

[quote]原帖由 [i]MetroSYG[/i] 於 2013-11-10 06:40 PM 發表 [url=http://www.discuss.com.hk/redirect.php?goto=findpost&pid=375434472&ptid=22648905][img]http://www.discuss.com.hk/images/common/back.gif[/img][/url]


True, the “love” market is so inefficient, we end up with mismatches all over the place.
Most folks' better halves are such because they showed up at the right place at the right time, but he/ ... [/quote]

It seems that there the mechanism of love is pluralistic and random (indeterminate),as such,it is just a matter of chance or luck



[url=http://m.discuss.com.hk][img=100,23]http://i1.hk/d/images/r10/mobile.jpg[/img][/url]

macymacytoo 2013-11-10 21:37

[quote]原帖由 [i]MetroSYG[/i] 於 2013-11-10 02:17 PM 發表 [url=http://www.discuss.com.hk/redirect.php?goto=findpost&pid=375421310&ptid=22648905][img]http://www.discuss.com.hk/images/common/back.gif[/img][/url]


認同大部份妳所講既 :)

至於點解我覺得女強人和住家男人係一個好配搭,或者用一個非洲草原既比喻會較易明

一頭特別大隻、好打既獅子乸,會搵咩伴侶?DNA 會驅使佢去搵草原上最大隻既獅子王!

獅子 ... [/quote


獅子既世界𥚃面一向都係女主外,男就 un un腳
対獅子乸來說係咪都係佢出去揾食㗎啦

其實你所謂既改變講到底都係兩個人既磨合
Sheryl Sandberg Facebook COO 夠強啦
佢老公係CEO, 佢地奉行shared parenting
我覺得只要搵啱人,任何方式都可以,開心就得喇



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macymacytoo 2013-11-10 21:43

[quote]原帖由 [i]MetroSYG[/i] 於 2013-11-10 02:44 PM 發表 [url=http://www.discuss.com.hk/redirect.php?goto=findpost&pid=375422762&ptid=22648905][img]http://www.discuss.com.hk/images/common/back.gif[/img][/url]


Agree with most of what you said, especially the part about being a lady while demanding men to be gentlemen. This is the crux of the problem for many women who end up single. One-way relationship ... [/quote]


People asked me this question a million times - I always answer if it can be weighted, that's not really love.

It is not because you don't find good men supply in the market they are there
Before they are married, they were single and available why didn't you take it at that point?

We come back to the same issue that women want everything, and they want it now.  There is no cultivation but only harvesting.   When a guy approach me he has to be established, rich, handsome and humorous - fairy tales happen but not often

Assume then you find a single, available guy who's comparable, how do you lady treat him?  Remember he doesn't need a race with you, he wants you to be his lady who can pamper him - but - well I don't have to tell you rest of the story

Honestly, as a woman, I can say we need to adjust our attitudes and expectations



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macymacytoo 2013-11-10 21:58

[quote]原帖由 [i]littlebug123[/i] 於 2013-11-10 04:19 PM 發表 [url=http://www.discuss.com.hk/redirect.php?goto=findpost&pid=375427314&ptid=22648905][img]http://www.discuss.com.hk/images/common/back.gif[/img][/url]
又唔係話d強既女人睇唔起人,而係男人普遍都唔會approach人工、職位比佢高既女人。咁變相呢班女人已經少左可配對既對象。

我指既唾手可得,係講緊一個擁有婚姻既機會,唔係一段幸福婚姻可以唾手可得。以前,女人讀完 ... [/quote]


女強人人工高之前都有差唔多人工的男性在身邊
你只顧向上爬,回頭一看,e,你仲係下面呀,噢,我的market又少了

既然目標是一個幸福家庭,作為準妻子,你有冇好好為準老公打算過?
佢讀master 向上爬的時候你係支持佢定投訴佢冇陪你?佢事業遇上樽頸,你有冇係背後鼓勵佢同佢分析前景?

好多時羨慕人地老公幾好幾有錢時,作為老婆係背後付出既又有冇人知?
而家社會太即食,大家希望明天白馬王子出現,不否認有人會咁好命,但要喝水就自己掘井吧,這樣較實際



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macymacytoo 2013-11-10 22:02

[quote]原帖由 [i]MetroSYG[/i] 於 2013-11-10 06:40 PM 發表 [url=http://www.discuss.com.hk/redirect.php?goto=findpost&pid=375434472&ptid=22648905][img]http://www.discuss.com.hk/images/common/back.gif[/img][/url]


True, the “love” market is so inefficient, we end up with mismatches all over the place.
Most folks' better halves are such because they showed up at the right place at the right time, but he/ ... [/quote]


Well first of all, there is no pricing or benchmarking in this market, it's like a bartet two parties deal with each other.  It's an inherent efficiency and you can't help with it

Secondly if you believe in semi strong form hypothesis, then market reflect all information available.  When u show up in the market and she put her profile in front of you and you agree to the match then we can't really say it's a mismatch - it is what you asked for already



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jenniferyiu8080 2013-11-10 22:14

[quote]原帖由 [i]macymacytoo[/i] 於 2013-11-10 09:43 PM 發表 [url=http://www.discuss.com.hk/redirect.php?goto=findpost&pid=375445902&ptid=22648905][img]http://www.discuss.com.hk/images/common/back.gif[/img][/url]



People asked me this question a million times - I always answer if it can be weighted, that's not really love.

It is not because you don't find good men supply in the market they are there
... [/quote]


很有道理.

littlebug123 2013-11-10 22:50

[quote]原帖由 [i]macymacytoo[/i] 於 2013-11-10 09:58 PM 發表 [url=http://www.discuss.com.hk/redirect.php?goto=findpost&pid=375447203&ptid=22648905][img]http://www.discuss.com.hk/images/common/back.gif[/img][/url]女強人人工高之前都有差唔多人工的男性在身邊你只顧向上爬,回頭一看,e,你仲係下面呀,噢,我的market又少了既然目標是一個幸福家庭,作為準妻子,你有冇好好為準老公打算過?佢讀master 向上爬的時候 ... [/quote]首先利申,我並不是一個事業有成既女強人,只係一個小薯,所以所講既並不是要為強既女人去申辯d咩。只係個人感受,或者朋友間既感受分享。

我個人對感情只係隨緣隨意,所以唔會視婚姻係一個目標,需要去刻意prepare.  對於我,婚姻係當我遇到一個我非常愛既人,希望可以同呢個人永遠一齊,至會盟生既目標 。所以你講 “準“妻子準備,我覺得如果身邊都未出現呢個人,又prepare d 咩?而且你所講既支持,係唔需要準備,係發自內心。對自己深愛既人,你好自然會以佢為中心,只要可以令佢開心,會盡力令佢開心。

希望你唔好誤會。我並非條件主義者,亦討厭現今d所謂港女既擇偶方式。只係純討論而家既社會現象啫



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formula0106 2013-11-10 23:09

性格問題最主要:loveliness:

yatying1 2013-11-11 03:32

其實我覺得有句諺語講得幾岩~

[b]好醜命生成[/b]



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凍啡少甜 2013-11-11 07:41

[quote]原帖由 [i]Aoki[/i] 於 2013-11-9 07:00 PM 發表 [url=http://www.discuss.com.hk/redirect.php?goto=findpost&pid=375367596&ptid=22648905][img]http://www.discuss.com.hk/images/common/back.gif[/img][/url]
個人覺得係関乎 雙方 嘅 際遇、性格、命運!

婚姻好似 二人三足咁, 要雙方共同「配合」! [/quote]

你形容得非常好, 二人三足, 是但一個唔配合都係唔WORK

凍啡少甜 2013-11-11 07:48

[quote]原帖由 [i]littlebug123[/i] 於 2013-11-10 02:36 AM 發表 [url=http://www.discuss.com.hk/redirect.php?goto=findpost&pid=375397528&ptid=22648905][img]http://www.discuss.com.hk/images/common/back.gif[/img][/url]
照你咁講,女強人似乎無乜運行:smile_39:

老一輩阿媽教阿女比心機讀書,將來可以獨立,唔洗為兩餐一宿,委曲求存。但係到女人夠強同男人平起平坐時,又往往無左傳統女人本來唾手可得既野。



[url=http://i.discuss]http://i.discuss[/url] ... [/quote]

就以我係新加坡睇到女性地位黎講, 佢地學歷好多時比男性還高, 因為男人要當兵, 果段時間女性一路讀上去, 出黎既社會現象, 佢地揀配偶既條件都會提高左, 佢地自己有能力既時候, 揀既時候難免會將呢的條件加左入去, 無可厚非. 但好多時亦因為咁錯過左自己黃金歲月, 去到真係年紀大, 揀無可揀時, 最後都未必搵到合心對象.

凍啡少甜 2013-11-11 08:04

[quote]原帖由 [i]littlebug123[/i] 於 2013-11-10 10:50 PM 發表 [url=http://www.discuss.com.hk/redirect.php?goto=findpost&pid=375452318&ptid=22648905][img]http://www.discuss.com.hk/images/common/back.gif[/img][/url]
首先利申,我並不是一個事業有成既女強人,只係一個小薯,所以所講既並不是要為強既女人去申辯d咩。只係個人感受,或者朋友間既感受分享。

我個人對感情只係隨緣隨意,所以唔會視婚姻係一個目標,需要去刻意prepare ... [/quote]

[b]我琴日同老公就係講緊類似既野, [color=#4169e1]愛一個人以佢為中心好重要[/color]. 好似琴日咁我地去買左好多野, 每次大家都爭住拎, 唔比對方拎. 老公知我腰患, 唔可以抽重野, 我又肉赤佢抽到兩隻手都滿哂, 我每次都叫佢揀番的輕既比我, 空番隻手出黎拖我. 呢的都係生活既情趣.[/b]

[b]真係愛一個人, 就算佢學歷唔高, 搵錢又唔多, 依然會將佢放係自己前面. [/b]

凍啡少甜 2013-11-11 08:16

嘩...你講得絕呀..真係好多女人話個老公去進修唔陪佢架, 我都見唔少, 其實互相扶持真係好重要.

再搵得多錢既男人, 病左想搵人煮個粥都冇, 又如何?
再高學歷既女人, 每晚冷冰冰自己一張床, 冬天想搵多對腳暖下都冇..又如何?

邊個會介意幫你煮粥, 服侍你食藥果個女人有冇沙紙. 幫你暖腳仔個男人搵幾錢個月.如你所講, 生命中有人體恤你忙係為左紜來, 係你最徬徨既時候幫手分析當前狀況先重要

Chrisyu88 2013-11-11 09:17

十年前 我老公啱啱讀完lve 出黎去左一間好大建築公司 做初級工程司 13000  當時佢又卡數 又養父母 又夜晚進修 當時拍拖 都知佢無$ 其實2個人一齊最緊要開心 hk 好多地好靚 又唔冼用今多$ 有一班好朋友 去邊都今開心      到左而家 老公升上管理階層 人工多5陪   買左樓俾我  我地生活無變好慳 為將來            我想講 我身邊好多三十幾未結婚  成日問我 我老公黎啲邊度識  介紹下俾佢地 有啲係專業人士 條件好好 佢地開出黎 條件要同佢地今上下    吓真係幫唔到佢地  有條件嘅男人大部份結晒婚  淨底嘅身高同樣又差啲 又嫌棄人地  好難搞  所以佢地等  曾經有一個話我今普遍小職員  都嫁得今好  佢靚過我 學曆又高 成身chanel   一定揾到更好 佢而家都係單身            其實$ 唔係今重要 2個人一齊 最緊要愛 開心 知足常樂   唔好比較  計較   自己過得幸福就得 認同自己 我同老公經歷過得100蚊冼2日  但都好開心   因為佢真係好錫我



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凍啡少甜 2013-11-11 09:48

係呀, 其實兩個人一齊, 經歷過同甘苦既日子, 真係唔同的架. 幸福唔係必然, 大家識得珍惜同感恩好重要. 男人其中一樣野, 佢鍚你希望你知道, 咁就好夠

[[i] 本帖最後由 凍啡少甜 於 2013-11-11 09:51 AM 編輯 [/i]]

MetroSYG 2013-11-11 17:59

[quote]原帖由 [i]brotherman[/i] 於 2013-11-10 07:55 PM 發表 [url=http://www.discuss.com.hk/redirect.php?goto=findpost&pid=375438472&ptid=22648905][img]http://www.discuss.com.hk/images/common/back.gif[/img][/url]


It seems that there the mechanism of love is pluralistic and random (indeterminate),as such,it is just a matter of chance or luck



[img=100,23]http://i1.hk/d/images/r10/mobile.jpg[/img] [/quote]

There's a certain amount of randomness in it, but like minds/characters seem to attract each other too



[url=http://m.discuss.com.hk][img=100,23]http://i1.hk/d/images/r10/mobile.jpg[/img][/url]

MetroSYG 2013-11-11 18:21

[quote]原帖由 [i]macymacytoo[/i] 於 2013-11-10 10:02 PM 發表 [url=http://www.discuss.com.hk/redirect.php?goto=findpost&pid=375447582&ptid=22648905][img]http://www.discuss.com.hk/images/common/back.gif[/img][/url]



Well first of all, there is no pricing or benchmarking in this market, it's like a bartet two parties deal with each other.  It's an inherent efficiency and you can't help with it

Secondly i ... [/quote]

While there are no generally accepted  valuation models nor units for counting, valuation and benchmarking occur within a cultural context. They are performed on relative, not absolute basis.

When choosing a mate, most folks consider a basket of attributes, such as appearance, age, character, career, education attainment, socioeconomic status etc. Certain attributes are considered desirable, such as tall men and thin women.

Women benchmark their mates all the time, against so-and-so's husband, so-and-so's bf etc lol



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MetroSYG 2013-11-11 18:26

deleted

[[i] 本帖最後由 MetroSYG 於 2013-11-11 08:59 PM 編輯 [/i]]

MetroSYG 2013-11-11 18:41

[quote]原帖由 [i]macymacytoo[/i] 於 2013-11-10 10:02 PM 發表 [url=http://www.discuss.com.hk/redirect.php?goto=findpost&pid=375447582&ptid=22648905][img]http://www.discuss.com.hk/images/common/back.gif[/img][/url]



Well first of all, there is no pricing or benchmarking in this market, it's like a bartet two parties deal with each other.  It's an inherent efficiency and you can't help with it

Secondly i ... [/quote]

On your 2nd point: the [color=blue]lack of[/color] efficiency is created by information assymmetry. When she put her profile in front of me, I get a canned, filtered version, not “the whole truth and nothing but the truth”. Conversely I also give her a canned profile.

Most folks can only accept each other on good faith. Some get nasty surprises years into their marriages.

Divorce rates of 50% or higher in many countries are solid proof there are mismatches all over the place.



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[[i] 本帖最後由 MetroSYG 於 2013-11-11 09:00 PM 編輯 [/i]]

MetroSYG 2013-11-11 18:53

[quote]原帖由 [i]macymacytoo[/i] 於 2013-11-10 09:43 PM 發表 [url=http://www.discuss.com.hk/redirect.php?goto=findpost&pid=375445902&ptid=22648905][img]http://www.discuss.com.hk/images/common/back.gif[/img][/url]



People asked me this question a million times - I always answer if it can be weighted, that's not really love.

It is not because you don't find good men supply in the market they are there
... [/quote]

Great points and well said!

There's a social evolution going on with women attaining newfound status. I'm just arguing it's probably better for some women to complete the evolutionary process, to apply their life principles in a consistent manner, including the choice of husband.



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MetroSYG 2013-11-11 18:59

[quote]原帖由 [i]littlebug123[/i] 於 2013-11-10 04:26 PM 發表 [url=http://www.discuss.com.hk/redirect.php?goto=findpost&pid=375427637&ptid=22648905][img]http://www.discuss.com.hk/images/common/back.gif[/img][/url]
都未必ga
而家有d女人,似乎已經無左道德觀念。只要係筍盤,傷害人,破壞人婚姻都無所謂:smile_45:



http://i.discuss.com.hk/d/images/r10/androidD.jpg [/quote]

Desperate times call for desperate measures…



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macymacytoo 2013-11-11 20:44

[quote]原帖由 [i]littlebug123[/i] 於 2013-11-10 10:50 PM 發表 [url=http://www.discuss.com.hk/redirect.php?goto=findpost&pid=375452318&ptid=22648905][img]http://www.discuss.com.hk/images/common/back.gif[/img][/url]
首先利申,我並不是一個事業有成既女強人,只係一個小薯,所以所講既並不是要為強既女人去申辯d咩。只係個人感受,或者朋友間既感受分享。

我個人對感情只係隨緣隨意,所以唔會視婚姻係一個目標,需要去刻意prepare ... [/quote]


唔好誤會,我唔係講任何人,只係分析一種心態
我同意你所講既野,平日做人都好赲,連愛情都要下下計住真係好辛苦

我只想帶出除童話故事以外,種瓜得瓜種豆得豆的道理,我們有時因為自己人工社會地位高而要求太多,附出太少



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macymacytoo 2013-11-11 21:06

[quote]原帖由 [i]Chrisyu88[/i] 於 2013-11-11 09:17 AM 發表 [url=http://www.discuss.com.hk/redirect.php?goto=findpost&pid=375481250&ptid=22648905][img]http://www.discuss.com.hk/images/common/back.gif[/img][/url]
十年前 我老公啱啱讀完lve 出黎去左一間好大建築公司 做初級工程司 13000  當時佢又卡數 又養父母 又夜晚進修 當時拍拖 都知佢無$ 其實2個人一齊最緊要開心 hk 好多地好靚 又唔冼用今多$ 有一班好朋友 去 ... [/quote]


老死兩夫妻十幾歲開始拍拖,男既幾有型,但女既真肥細個爛面,冇人睇好,呀我係老死唔怕咁講啦

男既會考得十四分去在外國讀書,女既成績不錯香港升學
由男讀foundation開始,女既一直幫佢,有少少好似男既冇乜用咁,但女話覺得佢有potential
十幾年來,男既工作由細會計師行換到投資銀行,一大學畢業幾間bank請佢,現在剛剛三十出頭年薪過百
女既用香港某大畢業的沙紙都入左ibank,人工緊老公之後。而家一樣肥,但個樣好賢慧,好有女人味,唔知奌解

我去佢屋企,煮十幾個人飯唔使工人,個老公拎住支啤酒同係天台D同事吹水,女既剛升middle management,佢去生仔!  真係O咀,估佢唔到。

有人話佢咁既款都咬住件banker唔放。我係旁邊睇,覺得人地係後面做左D乜你又知幾多



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macymacytoo 2013-11-11 21:09

[quote]原帖由 [i]凍啡少甜[/i] 於 2013-11-11 09:48 AM 發表 [url=http://www.discuss.com.hk/redirect.php?goto=findpost&pid=375482644&ptid=22648905][img]http://www.discuss.com.hk/images/common/back.gif[/img][/url]
係呀, 其實兩個人一齊, 經歷過同甘苦既日子, 真係唔同的架. 幸福唔係必然, 大家識得珍惜同感恩好重要. 男人其中一樣野, 佢鍚你希望你知道, 咁就好夠 [/quote]


絕對認同
有冇男人棄糟槺?一定有
做人只求做好本份,下下計住好辛苦



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macymacytoo 2013-11-11 21:13

[quote]原帖由 [i]MetroSYG[/i] 於 2013-11-11 06:41 PM 發表 [url=http://www.discuss.com.hk/redirect.php?goto=findpost&pid=375513279&ptid=22648905][img]http://www.discuss.com.hk/images/common/back.gif[/img][/url]


On your 2nd point: the lack of efficiency is created by information assymmetry. When she put her profile in front of me, I get a canned, filtered version, not “the whole truth and nothing but the ... [/quote]


Bro- you didn't marry based on a sheet of paper - the canned profile was an intro - you hang out with her, and even 'test drive' before (I innocently assumed) - where did he assymetry come from?  If due diligence was done thoroughly, it's hard to claim the board for breaching fiduciary duty- make sense?



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littlebug123 2013-11-11 21:14

[quote]原帖由 [i]macymacytoo[/i] 於 2013-11-11 08:44 PM 發表 [url=http://www.discuss.com.hk/redirect.php?goto=findpost&pid=375520102&ptid=22648905][img]http://www.discuss.com.hk/images/common/back.gif[/img][/url]唔好誤會,我唔係講任何人,只係分析一種心態我同意你所講既野,平日做人都好赲,連愛情都要下下計住真係好辛苦我只想帶出除童話故事以外,種瓜得瓜種豆得豆的道理,我們有時因為自己人工社會地位高而要 ... [/quote]而家d人的確係希望得到多多,但係只願意付出少少,甚至不勞而穫。好奇怪,理應係你揀人,人亦同時揀人,仍然有男人去揀呢d人,但係婚後又呻到一地樹葉。難道真係可以將缺點隱藏得咁好:smile_41:



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macymacytoo 2013-11-11 21:27

[quote]原帖由 [i]MetroSYG[/i] 於 2013-11-11 06:21 PM 發表 [url=http://www.discuss.com.hk/redirect.php?goto=findpost&pid=375512272&ptid=22648905][img]http://www.discuss.com.hk/images/common/back.gif[/img][/url]


While there are no generally accepted  valuation models nor units for counting, valuation and benchmarking occur within a cultural context. They are performed on relative, not absolute basis.

W ... [/quote]


Lol missed this message - yes there's an ongoing cultural benchmarking but also market size is so limited to allow efficient matching - I can sell a stock to anyone who pays, sometime through an exchange but the # of single men in my social circle is soooo limited

But think abt risk and return- if I invested my whole youth n precious years in this one guy, I bet on him by taking risks - if it doesn't work out I m screwed.  The upside is I can make a lot of money (have a good hubby) if he's a hidden gem

Now the problem is - miss strong wants low risk investment. She's established so she wants strong cash flow to come in from day 1 - how can u argue that?



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MetroSYG 2013-11-11 21:47

[quote]原帖由 [i]macymacytoo[/i] 於 2013-11-11 09:13 PM 發表 [url=http://www.discuss.com.hk/redirect.php?goto=findpost&pid=375521875&ptid=22648905][img]http://www.discuss.com.hk/images/common/back.gif[/img][/url]
Bro- you didn't marry based on a sheet of paper - the canned profile was an intro - you hang out with her, and even 'test drive' before (I innocently assumed) - where did he assymetry come from? ... [/quote]

You're right - I did a heckuva test driving :smile_30: But it takes a long time to really get to know someone, and you can only guess how a person would respond under severe stress...

The information assymetry comes from the fact that we're dealing with private information. There are certain things you just don't talk about, even with loved ones

macymacytoo 2013-11-11 21:55

[quote]原帖由 [i]littlebug123[/i] 於 2013-11-11 09:14 PM 發表 [url=http://www.discuss.com.hk/redirect.php?goto=findpost&pid=375521997&ptid=22648905][img]http://www.discuss.com.hk/images/common/back.gif[/img][/url]
而家d人的確係希望得到多多,但係只願意付出少少,甚至不勞而穫。好奇怪,理應係你揀人,人亦同時揀人,仍然有男人去揀呢d人,但係婚後又呻到一地樹葉。難道真係可以將缺點隱藏得咁好:smile_41:



http://i.dis ... [/quote]

少少心態問題,好男人難求,女的爭得你死我活才可共偕連理,爭得累了,結婚以後視為上岸,而非視婚姻為另一個遊戲既開始(比喻很差但希望你明白)

婚姻要維持要經營,女的筍盤到手,興奮得忘記了
我經驗係,只係我身邊朋友ok,今時今日男既肯結婚不是玩玩下,但女既有時係怕三十幾冇人要而去結

有時我笑,我地女人先係真正玩家呢



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